Beer Haiku Friday and The Beer of Revenge

Today's Beer Haiku Friday proves that President Obama has a hard side. Obama loses his bet with the Canadian leader over the Ice Hockey so he has to buy a pack of beer. Look which beer he picks in "The President Pays Up":

The president pays
Up on his Olympic bet.
A case of Molson

Brutal!

The latest Malthouse blog looks at beer legends, Louis Pasteur, his love of yeast and hatred of Prussians, Croucher Cherry Bock and some big up-coming events. It is called "The Beer of Revenge":

“Pasteur is one of the greatest names in science, but this doesn’t mean he was necessarily a very nice person. What particularly got Pasteur hot under the collar was Prussia and all things German… His abhorrence of all things Prussian took two visible forms. First, he insisted that every paper he published would contain the statement “Hatred towards Prussia! Revenge! Revenge!” which must have proved difficult for peer reviewers, but had little real impact. But the second form changed beer as we know it."

Glass Tips - Those excellent fellows at Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse

Marchfest and Beer Tourism Map

Notification of another fantastic beer festival from Dead Good Beer Events:

MARCHFEST
April 17th 2010
Founders Park, Nelson

All local beers, 11 new beers, 2 new ciders, Don McGlashan, music, food, pony rides, bicycle-powered amplifiers and more...

The two new ciders are from Redwood Cellars and McCashins, the 11 new beers are:

Founders: God Knows Best ..bitter. "Our take on a ESB", 5%.
Lighthouse: April Fuel, an amber ale, 5.5%.
McCashins: Ale-iana (A gift from the Gods), type and abv tbc.
Moa: Blanc Resurrection, a Belgian Wit (wheat beer), 5%.
Monkey Wizard: Golgotha Porter, a porter brewed with NZ botanicals, 5.5%.
Renaissance: Funkelryesen (rhymes with Dunkelweizen), spiced rye beer, 5%.
Sprig and Fern: De-Vine Inspiration, Pilsner, 5%.
The Golden Bear: Liquifaction, a hoppy ale, 6%.
The Mussel Inn: Missing Lynx, Marzenbier (lager), 5.2%.
Totara: Ninkasi Green, an ale which will use green hops at harvest time, 5%.
Townshend's: Roger Parks IPA, a well hopped traditional IPA, 6%.

Full details on the website.

And before anyone comments, they are perfectly aware that Marchfest is now in April. It's just how they roll down that way!

Speaking of down that way, those clever chaps at the Moutere Inn have put together the Top of the South Craft Beer and Brewing Trail resource. It is a map marked with all the breweries and craft-friendly bars in the region as well as their details and websites. It can be downloaded as a PDF if you are travelling off-line. It's a great resource - every region of New Zealand needs something as good as this.

IPA Project 2010 and Beerfest comes to Welly

Arrow Brewing Company have announced their "IPA Project 2010." Teasers have been sent out but I have received the synopsis of this awesome sounding project which involves Arrow brewing

"an authentic IPA by traditional methods and cask conditioning the resulting beer in a wooden barrel. On March 1, this IPA will be given its "sea journey" when the barrel ventures out into the notorious Foveaux Strait on board one of the first oyster boats to set sail for the season. Upon the boats return to Bluff, the barrel will be transported back to Arrowtown where the celebrations begin and the IPA will be "cracked" and served with fresh oysters. This project is a world first and a unique way to celebrate two great traditions."

Major media coverage is expected tonight and tomorrow.

On Saturday 6 March 2010,Beer Festival 2010 comes to Wellington. This event gets bigger and better every year, was a huge success in Auckland recently and returns to the Capital this year with more breweries and a weather proof venue.

The event runs from midday to 9pm at the Westpac Stadium (please don't call it the 'Cake Tin'). 25 breweries will be pouring over 70 different beers, there will be food, there will be music, there will be seminars and there will be the opportunity to talk to the people who made the beers. Full details (including tickets) are on the Beer Festival website.

Beer Haiku Friday and Barrels of Beer

Today's much-anticipated Beer Haiku Friday describes a beer drinkers paradise. It is called "Variety":

Dreaming of a place
Where they serve an endless stream
Of various beers

Speaking of beer drinkers paradises*, the latest Malthouse blog looks at the development of barrel-aged beers, talks to three New Zealand brewers who are doing it and profiles the new Moa Barrel Reserve range. The blog is called "Barrels of Beer":

Epic Journey, two 20-litre barrels of Epic Armageddon which spent six weeks on the Interisland Ferry, were a big hit at Beervana 2009. Their Impish Brewer Luke Nicholas predicts we will see a lot more barrels in use at Beervana 2010. He is a bit of a convert to barrel-aging saying it was “fun and really changed the beer in a way I didn’t expect. It was interesting but also a bit scary and creepy leaving it to the wood. You don’t have that control and there are a lot of unknowns.”

* See what I did there?

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday and What's in a Name - Sprig and Fern

Today's Beer Haiku sums up the joy of fishing. It is called "Gone Fishin'":

the fish ain’t biting
but that’s not really the point
as long as there’s beer

The latest Malthouse blog has a look at the history of pub signs, the development of pub names, some great names and some terrible names, the Sprig and Fern, Pale Ale and Cider. The title is "What's in a Name - Sprig and Fern":

Clearly, it is very common for a pub name to be called “The [something] and [something else].” Those two words might be related (The Bull and Bear), random (The Parrot and Jigger) or complete opposites (The Jolly Taxpayer). Today’s featured brewery has used this age old technique.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

A Touch of Kiwi in Thornbridge Ales and Last Call for Mac's in Wellington

The latest Malthouse blog looks at how far New Zealand brewing has come in ten years, unveils two Kiwi connections with the ground breaking Thornbridge Brewery in England, details the brewing of a strawberry and pink peppercorn stout and provides a visitor's opinions on our local beer. It is called "A Touch of Kiwi in Thornbridge":

Thornbridge Hall Country House Brewery (to use its full name) is an innovative, award-winning and passionate English brewery set up in 2004. One of the original brewers was a young brewing graduate called Martin Dickie. When Martin left to start up BrewDog in his native Scotland, Kiwi Kelly Ryan joined the team in his place. The first brewery Kelly had worked in was Tui and to this day he retains a bit of a soft spot for that ‘East India Pale Ale’. Fellow New Zealander and well known beer lover James Kemp has also joined the team at Thornbridge (though he has a quite different take on Tui.)

From The Wellingtonian, my validictory for the Wellington Mac's Brewery which will be closing its doors next month. It is headlined "Last call for Mac's Brewery":

I have many fond memories, too: my first sip of Wicked Blonde; tasting sessions on the viewing platform when brewing was underway, the air filled with an aroma like fresh bread; watching people try Sassy Red with the chef's rustic French terrine or Black Mac matched with blue cheese, gingernut biscuit and chocolate covered apricot. That was when people began to understand craft beer and the art of beer and food matching.

Beer Haiku Friday, Belgian Beers and Tintin (or is it Asterix?)

I could not resist adding in what I consider to be the best beer-themed Haiku about the recent State of the Union address. For local readers, a tall boy is a large container of beer. The poem is called "Dashing my hops":

State of the Union
Flung my tallboy at the screen
Hops spring eternal

The latest Malthouse blog is about Belgian beers and Tintin. It replaces the earlier version which utilised Asterix who unfortunately is and always has been French. It is (re-) titled "Belgium's biggest resurgance since Tintin: Destination Moon":

The tiny kingdom of Belgium has for centuries produced many memorable, distinctive and often unique beer styles. One of the very last nations to succumb to the ubiquitous allure of lagers, Belgian beer has always been a bit special. Their artisan brewers feel free to use ancient techniques long abandoned by other producers, never hesitate to throw in ingredients which would petrify mainstream brewers and think nothing of lifting the strength of their beers by a couple of percent.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Big Beer News - Belgium’s biggest resurgence since Asterix and the Big Fight and the New Biggest Beer in the World

The latest Malthouse blog features a range of wonderful, magical characters including Orval, Westmalle, Asterix, Maredsous, Obelix and the Playful Chouffes of the Ardennes. It is titled "Belgium's Biggest Resurgance since Asterix and the Big Fight":

As a young beer neophyte, I would read books – surprisingly common activity in those pre-easy internet days – in which various great and good beer writers described Orval has having a distinct aroma of “sweaty horse blanket.” The concept seemed ludicrous. Surely even the most ostentatious wine scribe would hesitate to use such a descriptor, particularly if they wanted readers to actually try the beverage.

One exploratory sniff of my first Orval demonstrated that not only did it smell exactly like a heavy cloth which had been extensively worn by a perspiring example of the genus equine, but that it was absolutely delicious in doing so.

In startling beer news, Tactical Nuclear Penguin's tenure as the strongest beer in the world (32%) might be short-lived with Schorschbock claiming an unbelieveable 40% ABV. It is a lager from German craft brewer Schorschbrau. Schorschbock is produced through Schorschbrau’s own proprietary fermentation process. It includes a rarely-used method for producing ice bock, supplemented by extended cold-lagering for a minimum of six months.

Glass Tip - Malthouse Blog and the Morning Advertiser.

(Belated) Beer Haiku Friday and Beer, Civilisation and Politics Explained

There is over a week to go but planning is already underway for Superbowl Monday. Details are yet to be worked out but it involves American craft beer and cheese burgers. To celebrate, today's Beer Haiku is called "Superbowl Traditions":

Beer, food, and football
Surrounded by family
Watching commercials

At the Malthouse Blog, the latest post explains why beer created civilisation which in turn created politics, then asks every political leader in New Zealand for their favourite and gets a 100% response rate, the favoured beers of our political elite are then revealed in a world exclusive. It is called "Beer, Civilisation and Politics":

Last year, this blog literally stumbled over a media report on a British website claiming that Prime Minister John Key’s favourite beer was Bath Gem, a tasty ale from Bristol. Always thirsty for the truth, we decided to test this theory and directly ask the Prime Minister for his favourite beer. In the interests of balance and impartiality, the same question was put to the leaders of every political party currently represented in the New Zealand Parliament. They all provided answers and these are reproduced in full below.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday, a New Decade of Quality Beer and The Great Debate: Mild versus Wild

It's summer - which means rain in Wellington and lightning strikes in Northland, Auckland, Southland, Otago and Dunedin. Here is a beer haiku for all those who have lost power - or are about to - "Power Outage":

With the power out
I grab a beer from the fridge
And light a candle

Blogging at the Malthouse site has well and truly resumed with two new posts up already. The first covers my top ten Kiwi beer of 2009 and makes three predictions about the future of beer. It is titled "To a Decade of Quality Beer":

Having looked back longingly at 2009, it is time to look forward eagerly to 2010 and make some bold prediction for the rest of summer. Gazing into my crystal ball (well, actually it is a limited-edition Malthouse glass proposing ‘Cheers For 2010’ filled with Three Boys Golden Ale but the effect is quite similar), I foresee new levels of popularity for cider, wheat beers and pales ales (particularly those in the American style).

Next, a summary of the big debate in world beer, have extreme beers had their day, have Tactical Nuclear Penguins been spotted in New Zealand, Hallertau beers and Burns Nicht this Monday. With apologies to Bear Grylls, the post is titled "Mild vs Wild":

Sometimes you really want a beer that makes you stop and simply go ‘wow’ - you want a real eye opener, a conversation piece, a beer that you will always remember even though you only ever had a single glass. Lagunitas’ marvellously bouncy Hop Stoopid had this effect on my friend Dean late last year. Other times, however, there is a need for a beer that has character and flavour but which accompanies rather than dominates the conversation - a beer which can facilitate a long chat solving the world’s problems or last through a big sporting event.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse blog

The Top Ten Beers of 2009 - According to Neil Miller

In what is quickly becoming an annual tradition, I have compiled a list of my top ten New Zealand beers of the year. It appeared first in the Wellingtonian newspaper and is titled "Top Ten Beers of 2009":

December is the time that columnists reflect on the preceding year and make the traditional spurious “best of” lists. This column is no exception. Here then are my ten best beers of 2009 with last year’s rankings shown in brackets. The list clearly reflects my taste for big hoppy beers but, while they may be hard to find, every beer is well worth trying.

Hoppy New Year!

Beer Tasting on the Water and the Year in Beer (USA)

The final beer tasting results for the year come from the session I ran for Jeff Gray BMW:

December 2009 was the busiest month I have ever had for beer tastings. At the final count, I did ten tastings and two tours over a fifteen day stretch. While many of the locations were familiar (Mac’s Brewery viewing platform, the lounge at Malthouse), others were new and spectacular. The venue for the Jeff Gray BMW Christmas function was the Mana Cruising Club up the coast and I ran a beer appreciation session on the spacious balcony overlooking the ocean (and totally sheltered from the rather boisterous wind thankfully).

An interesting perspective on the "Year in Beer" in America was provided by Joshua M Bernstein from Slash Food:

During the first half of 2009, craft brewing grew 5 percent by volume and 9 percent by dollars, numbers made more astounding when you consider that overall beer sales nose-dived 1.3 percent.

Why are microbreweries bucking the economic trend? It's a matter of taste. Increasingly, brew drinkers "are attracted to flavor and variety, new and different products and beers made by small, local and independent companies," says Brewers Association director Paul Gatza.

Glass Tip - Rach from Yellow Brick Road food company (best seafood in the country!)

Beer Haiku Friday and Beer with Sax Appeal

For many, it is the last day of work for the year. This Haiku - Stolen Happy Hour - may sum up how some of you are feeling:

The meeting drags on
The boss steals more and more time
I could be drinking

In the last Malthouse blog of the year, we meet Aussie musician Adam Page and learn of his love for craft beers and seamlessly mixing classic Christmas carols with Rage Against the Machine. It is called "Beer with Sax Appeal":

Surrounded by a miasma of hop fumes and his trademark bushy beard (which he is going to grow out because “bigger beards are just cooler”), Adam lists his Kiwi beers of choice. He loves Tuatara, Three Boys IPA (“oh hello, it’s nice! Tuatara IPA sales go up when I’m in town”), Renaissance IIPA (“far out, it’s a classic”), Three Boys Oyster Stout (though he takes it personally that the seasons have changed which deprives him of this beer during his current visit) and Epic Armageddon (“unbelievable – like Luke backed up a cement truck full of hops and tipped them into my mouth”).

Glass Tips - Malthouse and Beer Haiku Daily

Beer Haiku Friday and A Long Hard Dispassionate Look At the Craft Beer Scene

Today's Beer Haiku is called "A Frickin Miracle" and sums up the Friday mindset for many nicely:

He left for the bar
At exactly 5 o’clock
Against all the odds

In the latest Malthouse blog, I debate revolution versus evolution, quote Mao, Lloyd George and Michael Jackson, mix metaphors, present a thought-provoking piece from a Kiwi working in a US craft brewery and identify one of my beer finds of the year. It is titled simply "A Long Hard Dispassionate Look at the Craft Beer Scene"

the same debate rages today around lifting beer appreciation. Should elevating a drinker from Tui quaffer to Tuatara connoisseur take a single big sip or a thousand little tastes? The simple fact is that few Heineken fans or Steinlager followers or Radler lovers are going to be instantly converted to a bottle-conditioned American Pale Ale, a wild-fermented sour raspberry beer or a 32% double barrelled imperial stout which has spent three weeks at -20 degrees to help increase its alcoholic strength. * These drinkers need be encouraged and supported to work up to better beers step by step.

Glass Tip - Those wonderful chaps at Beer Haiku Daily and the fine folks at the Malthouse site

More tastings with a view and Tactical Nuclear Penguins

At another beer tasting with a view, the MSO Design tasting last week generated the most extraordinary results in years:

The usual vote was anything but usual. There was a clear winner on the first ballot but a record three beers were initially tied for second. A further run-off vote failed to separate them with the beers again tied. The only option was to declare all three tied for second place – a first in over five years of these tasting sessions.

Delightfully deranged Scottish brewers BrewDog have claimed the world record for strongest beer with their new 32% leviathan Tactical Nuclear Penguin. The full release (including authenication of alcoholic strength is on their website:

The Antarctic name inducing schizophrenia of this uber-imperial stout originates from the amount of time it spent exposed to extreme cold. This beer began life as a 10% imperial stout 18 months ago. The beer was aged for 8 months in an Isle of Arran whisky cask and 8 months in an Islay cask making it our first double cask aged beer. After an intense 16 month, the final stages took a ground breaking approach by storing the beer at -20 degrees for three weeks to get it to 32%.

Beer Haiku Friday and Springing into a Summer of Mayhem

Today's highly anticipated Beer Haiku is a simple yet touching ode to the wonders of brewing. It is called "Together":

Put them together
Oh the wonders they contain
Malt yeast hops water

From the Malthouse blog, this post looks at the weather, a summer beer festival, a Rennaissance tasting, the temporary reappearance of one of my favourite beers of all time, new beers from the Yeastie Boys and 8 Wired plus the return of Mayhem and my beer nemesis is back in town. It is titled "Spring into a Summer of Mayhem":

It is officially Day Two of summer in Wellington and is fair to say that the weather so far has been consistent. Unfortunately, it has been consistently horrible with plenty of rain, strong winds and low temperatures. Anyone would think there was a cricket test scheduled for tomorrow or something. Even some of my green-tinged acquaintances have indicated that a little global warming wouldn’t go amiss at the moment while some of my less charitable friends have accused Al Gore of stealing summer.

Glass Tips - Those hearty froth blowers at Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse blog

Beerly Promoting - Kapiti Food Fair

The Kapiti Food Fair is on Saturday and will showcase a range of great food, beer and wine from the region which is known as Wellington's Food Basket. Over 5,000 visitors attended this event last year. The 2009 Fair features cooking demonstrations from professional chefs (including Martin Bosley, a local) as well as beer and wine appreciation sessions.

The Beer Boys Beer Appreciation workshops will be conducted by beer writer Neil Miller. This will comprise tastings and commentry on top award winning New Zealand Boutique Beers (including Tuatara, Epic and Croucher).

The Wine Wizards workshops are to be presented by Ex Tall Black, travel and wine writer John Saker.

Saturday 5 December 2009 from 10 am to 3pm
Whitireia Community Polytechnic Kapiti Campus
Lindale Exit, State Highway 1, Paraparaumu

Full details are on their website.

Beerly Tasting - Telecom and DesignX

One of the highlights of last week was a big, energetic tasting at Telecom:

It was a tasting that had pretty much everything: a full range of New Zealand craft beers, over 40 eager participants, a giant plastic pager advertising the event, excellent food matches for every beer from “Iron Chef Jonno”, a close popular vote and, of course, a guy in a full lion suit called “Mr Lion Brown” who had a bottle opener attached to his tail.

Last night I had the chance to run a fun little tasting for a 'book club with a view' which was organised by DesignX:

High in the hills of Northland (the Wellington suburb rather than the northern most region of New Zealand) I ran a beer tasting for a “book club”. Like most “book clubs” around the country, there was no reading involved but there was a lot of banter and good humour. It was hosted and organised by innovative web design company DesignX. The intention was to sample an introductory range of New Zealand craft beers, enjoy some snacks and marvel at one of the best panoramic views I’ve had at a tasting.

Glass Tip - Centre City Wines and Spirits for the supplies

Beer Haiku Friday and Mayhem Achieved, Boredom Relieved

From Beer Haiku Daily, a wonderful poem about a wonderful beer. It is called "Duvel":

Billowy white cloud
Looms over splendid sunshine
The Devil smiles

From the Malthouse Blog, this week's post covers dictionaries, imps, hops, mayhem, more hops, brewing philosophies, an inability to do subtle, more hops again, Saint Andrews Day and... free whisky? It is all in "Mayhem Achieved, Boredom Relieved":

In a revelation that ranks right up there with ‘sun rises in the morning’ and ‘Jacob Oram is injured’, Luke Nicholas confesses “I love flavours, especially hops. Subtlety isn’t something I am good at. I like to turn up the flavours.” Various entrepreneurs should consider manufacturing a range of “subtlety isn’t something I am good at” t-shirts. I would certainly buy one.

Glass Tips - Those excellent dudes at Beer Haiku Daily and the fine fellows at Malthouse dot com

Beer Haiku Friday and Fizzy Yellow Beer Drinking Ninnies

A clever little poem for today called "The Perfect Hobby":

The perfect hobby
For people that like to clean
Must be homebrewing

Over at the Malthouse blog, my latest post covers the worst beer slogan in the world, Bud Light, geat American craft beers, a beer which gets in your face, a beer which gets 90 additions of hops and a bear fighting a lion. It is called "‘Fizzy yellow beer drinking ninnies’ need not read on":

The Dogfish Head crew make “off-centred beers for off-centred people” and Malthouse is now offering their 60 Minute and 90 Minute ales. The 60 Minute IPA is continuously hopped. There are over 60 hop additions during the sixty minute boil – a hint, perhaps, about the name. Terrifyingly, they describe this 6%, 60 IBU hop-rocket as a “session” IPA.

Which it actually is when compared to the Dogfish Head 90 Minute Imperial Pale Ale. The brewers here use both the continuous hopping process and a device they call “Me so Hoppy” (basically an inert gas fired closed loop dry hopping system – watch the video below) to create this 9% 90 IBU beast of a beer. There is also an even bigger 120 Minute ale out there but it is unclear whether it can safely travel across international waters without spontaneous hop explosions.

Glass Tips - Those wonderful tipplers at Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse Blog

Beerly Tasting - IRD and MAF (The Acronym Sessions)

It has been a busy month of beer tastings. Here are the latest two reports including the results of the public vote for best beer. First up is the IRD's 'Movemberfest' tasting:

Every time I begin to think that there is a finite number of themes for beer tasting events, someone comes up with a new one. In this case, the IRD Social Club wanted a “Movemberfest” tasting. It was to have a Belgian, French and German-inspired vibe though it would mainly showcase New Zealand beers. The decorations showed David Hasselhoff – for some reason. Thankfully there were no mo’s in evidence.

I also ran a fun little session for the folks at MAF:

Last week I had the welcome opportunity to return to the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry to run another tasting. Over 20 people crowded into the meeting room to sample a selection of some of the best craft beers in New Zealand. Because Wellington is such a small place, one of the tasters was my old boss from the Treasury days.

Beerly Writing - The Wellingtonian: Craft beer defies the recession

My latest column in the Wellingtonian covers the state of the beer market in New Zaland and Tuatara's debut on the Deloitte Fast 50 list. It is titled "Craft beer defies the recession":

Brewers are, in general, remarkable people. Given only toasted barley, the flowers of a vine, clean water and a single-cell organism which usually makes bread, they can manufacture delicious, quenching beers. Confronted with those same ingredients, most normal people could only produce a slushy muesli which smelt like a barnyard and tasted of a teenagers sock drawer. Or worse – Victoria Bitter.

Beer Haiku Friday followed by Blog, Tweet, Repeat

In honour of Veterans Day, Beer Haiku Daily posted "Gratitude":

Many raised glasses
Greeted the young veterans
Entering the bar

There is something quite post-modern about blogging and tweeting about blogging and tweeting. This week's Malthouse blog covers the beer industry using social media, how I personally determine when technology has gone mainstream, an exclusive guest commentary from British writer Melissa Cole, scientific proof most messages on Twitter are pointless, Ashton Kutcher (also on Twitter and pointless) and the debut of @malthousewizard and his free beer. It is all in "Blog, Tweet, Repeat":

British beer writer Melissa Cole is the author of the popular and entertaining blog ‘Taking the beard out of beer’. She is a Member of the British Guild of Beer Writers and has been described as “the thinking man’s drinking crumpet”. *

* Well, she has now.

Glass Tips - Our patriotic chums at Beer Haiku Daily and that Handsome Scotsman at Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and Tasting at the Backbencher

Beer Haiku Friday exposes the best way to watch the fireworks with a poem called, unsurprisingly, "Fireworks":

at my secret spot
with a wagon full of beer
watching fireworks

The October Backbencher beer tasting had the theme "Best of Brew NZ":

The October Backbencher beer tasting had a “Best of Brew NZ” theme. A number of senior MPs were spotted in the immediate vicinity though they were probably present for the filming of “Backbenchers” (TVNZ 7) rather than the beer. There were over 370 entries in this year’s Brew NZ Beer Awards and only 23% of them received medals. This month’s selection showcased a range of medal winning beers accompanied by some fine food matches from the kitchen.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Backbencher

Rugby and racing - Beer and brand disloyalty

Last week's Malthouse blog covered burgers, brocolli, the Lucky brewery debacle, the three greatest Canadians of all time, "Spiderman" Emerson and Chimay White. It was called "A spirited defence of brand loyalty":

We would tend to portray the person who eats only corporate burgers and fries as unsophisticated, a little odd and probably quite large. However, the person who drinks nothing but – say – Heineken is seen as a loyal and informed drinker. I simply cannot express the absurdity of this notion any better than noted beer writer and my third favourite Canadian Stephen Beaumont...

In "Rugby, racing and beer", I take at looking at the baffling appeal of the Melbourne Cup, the cultural theft of Phar Lap, the attempted shooting of Phar Lap, the alledged similarities between American lager and horse by-products, West Coast humour at the expense of DB and Monteith's Summer Ale:

At 5pm today, millions of otherwise normal and usually horse-racing agnostic Australians and New Zealanders will stop what they are doing, turn on the television, put a silly hat on their head, throw buckets of cash at the TAB and cheer wildly for a large four-legged animal who, yesterday, they had never heard of.

Glass Tip - Malthouse Blog

Beerly Tasting - Stats and Met Service

Here is the report from the recent tasting at Statistics NZ:

Over the years, Statistics New Zealand has been one of my most regular and favourite beer tasting clients. Last night, I ran my seventh tasting for their staff club. As usual, it was raining. That did not deter thirty two participants who seemed to enjoy trying a range of Kiwi craft beers. The offerings included some of the last Smokin’Bishop in the city. This year’s Three Boys Golden was also making its first appearance at one of my sessions.

That same busy week, I ran my first tasting up at the Met Service:

Last night I ran a beer tasting for the social club up at the Met Service. The venue was perched at the very top of the Kelburn hills and the room was filled with over 30 eager participants. I put together an introductory menu but it was only much later that it was (correctly) suggested to me that including Dux de Lux Nor’ Wester Pale Ale or Sou’ Wester Stout would have been both appropriate and tasty. However, this event did give me the chance to list my Facebook status as “off to run a beer tasting at the Met Service. The forecast is for ale storms.”

The results of the popular vote each night are in the reports.

Beer Haiku Monday and the People's Blog Part Deux

While the seasons are wrong for this hemisphere, the poem still resonates. It is called "Winterizing":

Taking the sails down
could go quicker without beer
but what fun is that

Over at Malthouse blog, the popular People's blog returns with two more guest columnists and some considered reflections on bloggers and blogging. It is titled "The People's Blog Part Deux":

Ten years later, even hardened net geeks are giving up on trying to figure out how many blogs there really are. The answer is well over 100 million, almost certainly a lot, lot more. Blogging is not just for pyjama-clad Generation Xer’s who live in their parents basement anymore (though they are certainly still well represented on-line.) Now, rock stars blog. Beer writers blog. Businesses blog. Scientists blog. Even politicians blog.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday and Attaining Beervana

Today's Beer Haiku Friday sums up most art exhibitions for me. To mangle a Homer Simpson quote, I like paintings to look like the things they are supposed to look like. Here is "Abstract Art":

An art opening
Where beer is the only thing
Understandable

From the Wellingtonian newspaper, my column reviewing the success of Beervana 2009:

The queue snaked from the front door of the Town Hall around the corner and right across Civic Square. Hundreds of people waited anxiously to hand in their tickets and receive a canary yellow bracelet. They were not there to see a politician speak or a rock band play, they were literally there for the beer.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and The Wellingtonian newspaper

Beer Haiku Friday and the New Yawk beer scene

Sometimes you just find the perfect Beer Haiku. In November, I'm doing a wedding speech so this poem, "Advice for the Best Man", was timely:

A good rule of thumb:
When they try to tackle you
Your toast is finished

From the New York Times, Eric Asimov has a considered look at the highs and lows of the New York beer scene. His article is called "A beer please, and a (Good) Menu":

Great beer abounds today in New York, and the choices keep getting better. Nowadays, almost every neighborhood bar has at least a few craft beers. The better beer bars offer an expanded selection, scouring the world for unknown brewers and new beers. And the mark of a top-flight spot is one or two cask beers, served unpasteurized and unfiltered with natural carbonation, rather than from a pressurized keg.

Yet an imbalance exists that threatens to undercut the pleasure to be found in a perfectly drawn pint. While aficionados yearn to have beer taken as seriously as wine, too often beer is presented in a context that diminishes the respect it deserves.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily for the poem and Mr Martin Bosley for the article

Putting Beer in Context and A Tasting Report

From the Malthouse blog, a post on "Beer in its proper context" which covers why Fiji Bitter tastes better in Fiji, (Sir) Jeremy Clarkson on Chinese beer and details of the new beers coming on tap in October (including the debut from Golden Ticket):

The thing is, it was exactly the same (awful) beer but they were also quite right that it tasted much better in Fiji. Why precisely that was the case quickly became clear when I enquired about how they drank the beer in Fiji. Essentially, they all drank ice-cold Fiji Bitter in the hot sun, by the pool, relaxing on holiday while being waited on by someone young, attractive and largely naked.

In contrast, the Fiji Bitter they had in Wellington was served cool-ish, the rain was lashing against the spartan meeting room’s windows, it had been a busy working week and the beer was being served by a husky chap in a Hawaiian shirt. It is all about context.

Last week I braved blizzards and public transport to run a beer tasting out at Wallaceville:

I ran my first beer tasting in Upper Hutt last week. It was for the Social Society out at the biosecurity complex in Wallaceville and it turned out to be a great night despite Wellington producing some of the worst weather of the year. What happened to spring and global warming Mr Gore? Anyway, the idea was to offer up an introductory selection of New Zealand craft beer to an audience which contained more than one person who initially thought they ‘didn’t like beer.’

Beer Haiku Friday and the Nanny State

Today's Beer Haiku is a salutory lesson for Friday nights. It is called "Tragic":

Cocktail temptation
Lures him from his faithful beer
A tragic mistake

The latest Malthouse blog takes a look at Geoffrey Palmer, Maurice Bennett, Brew Dog, an 18.2% beer, a 1.1% beer, alcohol prices and Townshend No.9. It is called "Who's Your Nanny?":

As New Zealand inches towards a hospitality environment regulated by the whim and fancy of Sir Geoffrey Palmer, it is worth considering the situation in the United Kingdom which, if anything, might be even worse.

Here, Maurice Bennett Esq, a noted man around town (unlike Sir Geoffrey), got in the most minor of trouble a few years back for his advert which dared to insinuate that a beer called “Bennett’s Strong” was, in fact, quite strong. The ‘offending’ ad was quietly pulled.

Glass Tip - Those excellent chaps at Beer Haiku Daily

Beer Haiku Friday and Making Love in a Canoe

Today's haiku combines three of my favourite topics (beer, poetry and Homer Simpson) into just 17 glorious syllables. It is called "Homer Haiku":

Cause and solution
Of life’s infinite problems
Poured in a pint glass

The latest Malthouse blog also covers more of my favourite subjects - American pale ale, US foreign policy, Sierra Nevada - and some of my less favourite topics - Bud Light, Urkel and Oprah - in just one post "American beer is like making love in a canoe":

American beers have an appalling reputation internationally based on the fact that 80% of them are, in fact, nonsense on stilts. This was certainly the reputation that Monty Python was lampooning in the line which now serves as the title of this blog post. However, that same accusation of mainstream mediocrity can be levelled at a number of countries around the world. Often a nation’s most popular or most famous beer is hardly their best offering. Both those generalisations apply fully to New Zealand.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku and Beers from the Edge

Today's beer haiku belatedly recognises International Bacon Day (September 6) which really should replace Labour Day as a public holiday. The poem is titled "Bacon Lattice":

Any recipe
That includes “bacon lattice”
Has got to be good

From the Malthouse blog, the latest post has a look at the mainstream media, beer judging and the Mata range. It is called "Beers from the Edge":

One of a beer writer’s constant frustrations when trying to push craft beer into the mainstream media is the frequent impact a journalist or editor’s pre-conceptions and prejudices can have on the final article. It can be as simple as the choice of pictures used to accompany positive or negative stories about alcohol. If you look closely, negative stories usually have stock photos involving beer or RTDs while positive stories tend to use pictures featuring wine, usually in a quite sophisticated setting.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday and Official Confirmation that Richard Emerson is, indeed, a Champion

As well as being a day early, todays Beer Haiku has a distinctly New Zealand flavour. It is called "Perfect":

Butcher and brewer
Make ESB sausages
Perfect with mashed spuds

It is by Rupert Morrish who notes "my local butcher makes these excellent Bitter & Twisted sausages for Galbraiths." The editor also adds a note saying "Mmmmm… ESB Sausages… Drool…" However, this is not the first time the dashing Keith Galbraith has had a poem written about him. *

Over at the Malthouse blog, the latest post takes a look at the Beer Awards, Richard Emerson, beer, life and shoes in "It's official, Richard Emerson is a Champion":

Perhaps suspecting that he was going to do very well at the ceremony, Richard was sharply dressed. That has not always been the case. Emerson’s brewery manager Chris O’Leary recalls Richard arriving at a previous Brew NZ wearing two different shoes. Apparently, Richard had gotten up at 5am in the dark, slipped on his shoes and travelled all the way to Wellington. Chris says “being the observant, caring guy I am I let him wear that combination for a day then advised him that he was wearing one brown shoe and one green shoe. Ever positive, Richard replied ‘Bugger – oh well, at least I’m wearing one shoe from each of my favourite pairs!’”

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse Blog

* I can not provide any actual evidence of this but I'm sure its true.

Beer Awards and Beer Tasting

The biggest week on the New Zealand beer calendar is over. The BrewNZ Beer Awards attracted a record number of entries while Beervana attracted a record number of attendees. The winners were honoured at the awards dinner last Thursday and the full results are now up on the Brewer's Guild website. The highlight of the evening was Emerson's Brewing Company being crowned Champion Brewery 2009.

Pre-Beervana, I had the pleasure of running a beer tasting for the diplomatic folks at MFAT:

The role of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has been occasionally described by outsiders as ‘drinking for one’s country.’ It was therefore slightly surprising that it had been a couple of years since I had last run a beer tasting session for the MFAT social club. The organiser of the previous event is, rather ironically, now posted to a completely dry country though I’m sure there is no causal relationship.

Finally, to the hundreds of correspondents who almost over-loaded the Real Beer server with emails wanting to know what happened to Beer Haiku Friday, you will be pleased to learn that normal service will resume this week.

Beer Haiku Friday and From Russia with Beer

Today's Beer Haiku just appealed to my inner pop-culture geek. It is called "Believe it or Not":

A six pack of beer
An obscure ’80s sit com
I’m walking on air

The latest Malthous blog covers political economies, Baltika beer and music worse than Crazy Frog. Read the full story at "From Russia with Beer":

Rather than names, the Baltika beers have numbers. Ordering a Baltika 7 is probably easier for the average Kiwi than trying to use the beers’ original brand names of, and I’m not making these up, Zigulevskoye, Rizhkoye, Admiralteiskoye and Prazdnichnoye.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and The Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday and A Beer Tasting

This Haiku combines ribs and beer which is more than enough to get it selected for today's Beer Haiku Friday. It is titled "To-do List":

As ribs cook slowly
The only thing left for me
Is to drink this beer

A full report from the MAF Beer Tasting:

This week I had the opportunity to run a beer tasting at the head office of the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry. I brought a range of New Zealand craft beer and they provided gourmet pizzas and assorted chippies. It was a perfect match really. Filled with policy analysts, scientists and even someone who had studied brewing, it was a knowledgeable crowd with some great questions.

Glass Tip - The fine fellows at Beer Haiku Daily

The oldest pub in the nation and the beer of the people

From the Wellingtonian, my article on the "trouble brewing over the oldest pub claim":

It is an article of faith for Wellingtonians that the Thistle Inn on Mulgrave Street is the oldest pub in the country. After all, it was built way back in 1840 and, until the harbour was reclaimed in 1876, sat right on the shoreline. The Thistle has poured pints for parched sailors, sundry Governor-Generals and, according to legend, Te Rauparaha himself.

Over at the Malthouse blog, in the spirit of true blogging we throw the floor open to real people (and accountants) for their take on the best beers in the fridge. Welcome to the first "People's Blog":

A conveniently unknown author once wrote that “a blog is merely a tool that lets you do anything from change the world to share your shopping list.” Blogs can polarise readers perhaps more than any other medium. John Jay Hooker, veteran political gadfly, is on record as saying “I sincerely believe blogging can save America.” National Business Review publisher Barry Coleman does not believe it will even save New Zealand.

Finally, I love this sign spotted recently outside Hope Bros in Wellington: "Urgent! Customers needed. No experience needed. Apply within."

Glass Tip for the sign - Peter McCaffery

Beer, Politics and a Haiku

Today's Haiku sets out to fix the world's problems. It is called "seeking solutions":

With no solution
After sober discussion
They ordered some beers

From the Malthouse blog, an expose on what beers our politicans like to drink, including a beer which claims to be the Prime Minister's favourite, and a look at the range from Bath Ales. The title of the post is "beer and politics do mix":

Hon Mahara Okeroa, then Labour member for Te Tai Tonga, was the only politician approached who never replied. It’s been two years now and hopes of receiving an answer are fading fast. His Cabinet colleague Hon Annette King could find the time as Police Minister to select “ginger beer” as her pick but Mr Okeroa’s role as a “Minister of State” apparently precluded a reply. In unrelated news, Annette King was returned to Parliament in 2008 and is now Deputy Leader of the Labour Party. Mahara Okeroa was defeated and currently has four supporters on his Facebook page.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily

Beerly Tasting - Lawyers and Belgians

Last Friday I ran an introductory beer tasting at DLA Phillips Fox:

As a warm up to the successful Wellington Ranfurly Shield defence against Otago, I had the chance to run a beer tasting for staff and clients of one of Wellington’s big law firms, DLA Phillips Fox. It was an introductory beer selection which was accompanied by an impressive amount of food including paua fritters, chicken wings and ribs. One corner of the table had a big pile of bones which made it look like the Flintstones had dropped in to try some brews.

The July tradition continues with the annual Belgian Beer Tasting at the Backbencher:

July 21 is Nationale Feestdag. This is, of course, the National Day of Belgium and it celebrates the 178th anniversary of the coronation of King Leopold I. I suspect everyone already knew that. He is not still there obviously but I suspect everyone knew that too. More than just a chance to toast the Belgian monarchy, it is an excuse to settle down and sample some of the very best beers from the land sometimes called “the paradise of beer.”

Beer Haiku Friday and Hallertau's Hopping Good Beers

Today's beer haiku makes a lot of sense. It is called "Story Teller": The

sounds of laughter
Are an excellent soundtrack
To my beer soaked yarns

From the Malthouse blog, "Hallertau's Hopping Good Beers" has a look at the Hallertau range and their self-described sensual brewer:

The Saison is a memorable beer but it is indeed now just a memory as it has run out and been replaced by Hallertau Statesman, a 5.3% Pale Ale with a robust 37 IBUs. The Sensual Brewer believes that drinkers will exclaim “hops galore” on first sup. While this exact reaction is unlikely but possible, Statesman is a well balanced Pale Ale with a balance of clean, sweet malt and floral hops. Attempting to expand the beer lexicon, Stephen says the beer is “both zesty and tangy, indeed, we reckon you’ll find it uniquely ‘zangy’.”

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily

Beer Haiku and Brew Dogs

Today's beer haiku seems particularly appropiate for a Friday. It is called "a frickin' miracle":

He left for the bar
At exactly 5 o’clock
Against all the odds

From the Malthouse blog, "who let the Brew Dogs out" takes a look at the latest shipment from Scotland's cheekiest brewery, Brew Dog:

Personally, I’m looking forward to Hardcore. How can I possibly resist something which is described “an extreme beer rollercoaster for freaks, gypsies and international chess superstars?” I guess I had better brush up on my chess.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse Blog

Of Tuataras and The Treasury

Reprinted from the Wellingtonian, my latest column titled "Hatching a new Tuatara":

With the expansion completed, Carl is turning his formidable brewing brain to more new offerings and is planning some special big brews. These, he says, could include a stout, a “nice American Pale Ale” or a “big Belgian triple on the yeast, champagne corked and wired so it would age.”

This week I also ran a beer tasting for The Treasury:

It was in the hallowed halls of The Treasury that I ran my first ever beer tasting. The year was 2003 and the big worry then was bird flu rather than swine flu. How far we have come. It was attended by exactly eight people and around half the beers we tried that night are no longer brewed today. It was a very different event last night when twenty people sat down to a value for money buffet and, more importantly, to taste six New Zealand craft brews.

Beer Haiku and International Brewers Day Tomorrow

Today's haiku is about beer and food. It is called "That's Good Eatin'":

She brought me a beer
and a Maryland crab cake
the size of my face

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily

Malthouse blog this week focuses on July 18 - International Brewers Day - as well as discussing beer writer Jay Brooks and legendary brewer Dick Fife in "Have you hugged a brewer today?":

July 18 2008 – a day that will live forever in the opposite of infamy.

That date was the first International Brewers Day and was marked around the world by small groups of beer aficionados in various cerevisaphilic ways. International Brewers Day is the creation of legendary American beer writer Jay R Brooks – author of the Brookston Beer Bulletin - who was inspired by a “Have You Hugged a Brewmaster Today?” sticker on the brewery door at San Francisco’s 21st Amendment.

Beer Haiku Friday, Beer Battles and Beer Journeys

In the 1,001th post on this fine blog, Beer Haiku Friday continues its ratings dominance with "big foamy head"

Just some good ole boys
Talking beer, blues, barbecue
And living the dream

The TAB is offering long odds on Neil "Haiku" Miller becoming a more popular nickname than Luke "The Imp" Nicholas.

Over at the Malthouse blog, the 30th post there looks at the West Coast Challenge, brewers talking like professional wrestlers and the Dux de Lux. It is titled "Whatcha gonna do, brother, when the hoppiest beers in the world run wild on you?"

Over a quiet pint of Epic one evening, the Handsome and Softly Spoken Scotsman had the crazy idea of recreating Pete Brown’s IPA voyage recreation right here in New Zealand. He asked the Impish brewer to procure some wooden barrels and fill them with Armageddon. The Impish brewer immediately agreed. He asked the Interislander ferry if the barrels could go on their ship for up to six weeks. The Interislander people immediately agreed.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily

Beerly Tasting and the Winter Solstice

Last week I ran the second annual beer tasting for the Ministry for Culture and Heritage:

I made a mistake - the same mistake as last year. According to my carefully designed beer menu, I was running a tasting at the Ministry of Culture and Heritage. Such an august body does not exist and indeed never has in New Zealand. It is the Ministry for Culture and Heritage though in my defence even the former Prime Minister used to make the same mistake though she probably didn’t have it pointed out to her in the same way I did. Any insinuation that there is a Ministry of Culture and Heritage is erroneous, untrue and quite possible flocculent.

Last night I attended the launch of Mac's new winter beer Solstice:

Mac's Solstice is a five malt beer, fermented from a mix of Pale malt, Vienna malt, caramalt, Dark Crystal and Chocolate malt. The Hop component comes from southern Cross and Fuggles, while Horopito adds some mouth-warming clove and pepper aromas.

Beer tastings, so many beer tastings...

On friday night I ran a beer tasting for the good people at Telecom and the report and results are now up on the site:

The hardest aspect of last Friday’s beer tasting was finding the right building. There are five identical units on the site and I spent several awkward minutes in the wrong one. After locating the correct Telecom office, I had the chance to talk thirty enthusiastic punters through a selection of Kiwi craft beers and an iconic Belgian strong ale. One of the staff even produced some great food matches for the beers with his culinary feat made all the impressive by the fact he had to Google a few of the beers to because he’d never heard of them.

The night before I had run my third tasting at Thomson Reuters and the results are also in:

It is always a good sign when a company starts calling their beer tastings “an annual event.” Last Thursday I visited Thomson Reuters to run their third annual tasting session. As always, their questions and comments kept me on my toes as we worked through a selection of New Zealand craft beers and the traditional big Belgian closer. At the end of the evening the popular vote was very close with one beer making the podium for the very first time.

Tuatara refutes the decline of the Global Economy and a Tasting

From the Malthouse blog, an update on the speedy evolution of Tuatara Brewery and some political jokes in "Tuatara refutes the decline of the Global Economy":

This means that, theoretically speaking, a mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex (if they still existed, which they don’t) could today go to a Police line-up and easily recognise a humble Tuatara (if the Tuatara had done something illegal, which seems unlikely). The Tuatara is, in many ways, an eloquent rebuttal to the old adage “evolve or die” having seen many of its proudly evolutionary colleagues completely disappear (The Moa, The Dodo, Georgie Pie and the Progressive Party to name but four).

Continuing the economic theme, over at Real Beer NZ there is a report from my latest tasting at Baldwins:

One of the lesser-known economic side-effects of the global recession is a growing interest in corporate beer tastings as a social event which is both different and doesn’t break the bank. On Friday, I ran a one-hour tasting for twenty five people at Baldwin’s law firm in central Wellington. It was an introductory style tasting menu with all the beers receiving good support.

Glass Tip - PJ O'Rourke for the title.

A Trip to the Malthouse Vaults and Beer Haiku Friday Faces the Facts

Today's beer haiku is direct and to the point. It is called "As a Matter of Fact":

“I like beer” he said
As if an explanation
Was necessary

Over at the Malthouse website, "From the Beer Vaults" looks at the six o'clock swill, old drinking regulations, Palmerston North's historic spelling problems and Fuller's Vintage Ale:

The Palmerston North delegates had typed a late remit calling for a full enquiry into women in bars, but unfortunately in their haste they had made a small typing error. Delegates were circulated with a typewritten remit calling for a ‘full enquiry and review of women in bras’ much to the mirth of the predominantly male audience.” Clearly 1954 Palmerston North was not the “Knowledge City” we all admire and love today.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse Blog

New beers about to hit the shelves

Next week not one but three new beers are going to be available for New Zealand drinkers. Over at the Malthouse blog there are details of the launch of Yeastie Boys' 2009 Pot Kettle Black and Hallertau's version of Steve Baker's award-winning home brew Take Your Daughter to the Porter. The title is, of course, "The Porter's Daughter's Kettle Calls the Pot Black":

The brewer’s tasting notes say "We could go into fanciful descriptors but it can be simply summed up as rich, hoppy and far, far too easy to drink.” Having read Stu and Sam’s reviews on the Rate Beer website, this author is happy to confirm that they are more than able to go into fanciful descriptors. Between them, they appear to have about eleventy billion different ways of saying a beer is good

From Emerson's Brewery, details of the 2009 JP Belgian special have been announced:

The annual JP release, in honour of the late University of Otago Professor Jean Pierre Dufour, or JP as he was affectionately known, pays homage to the Belgium style beers, which Master Brewer Richard Emerson says, is one of the world’s quirky styles. The beer is based on the Dubbel style, like a true Belgian there are many variations on the style as we have added a hint of star anise to the brew. A purist may consider our style to be a Belgian Strong dark ale. This year’s release packs a whopping 8% alcohol. Invited industry guests will launch this years vintage at The Inch Bar, Bank St, North East Valley, Dunedin from 3.30 – 4.30 pm on Thursday 11 June and the beer will be on sale from Monday 15 June.

Beer Haiku Friday and the pub with no (Loaded Hog) beer

From the dusty archives of Beer Haiku Daily, a poem from - and I am not making this up - Creepy McGritts called - and I am not making this up either - "Contribution Friday":

The kettle boils
Hops aroma fills the air
New life has begun

From The Wellingtonian, my latest column gives a much maligned bar another look in "The pub with no (Loaded Hog) beer":

It’s a fantastic-looking venue but ultimately disappointing. I left feeling like Jeremy Clarkson if he had been admiring a beautiful new Jaguar only to find the V8 engine had been replaced with the motor from a Tickle Me Elmo.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and The Wellingtonian

Beerly Blogging - Toasting Great Beer and Great Pubs

Over at the Malthouse blog, my latest post looks at Maurice Bennett, Bennetts Beers, toast art, Beervana and alpine-dwelling, hollow-horned ruminants of the genus Capra from the family Bovidae. It is called "A toast to great beer":

On his websites Maurice has been listed variously as the Toastman, the Toast Master, the T-Man and “New Zealand’s most renowned artist”. That last claim may be somewhat contested by Goldie, Colin McCahon and perhaps the Right Honourable Helen Clark.

Legendary beer writer Pete Brown blogs an insightful review of the Pub du Vin concluding:

So there you go - great food, great beer, pretty good surroundings, and moronic, ill-informed conversation conducted with great conviction. Everything you could want from a pub.

Beerly Writing - Winter Warmers and Beer Talk

The May Cellar Vate beer tasting looked at "Winter Warmers" in appropiately wintery conditions:

The theme of this beer tasting – Winter Warmers – was selected as the last vestiges of autumn still lay snugly over the Capital. By the time the anointed time arrived, the weather had conveniently provided a week of cold, gales and rain to really set the scene for a selection of darker, stronger, warming beers. Forty people tried a range of dark lagers, porters, stouts and dubbels in the Cabinet Room at the Backbencher.

Over at the Malthouse blog, the latest post, "Lets talk about beer", looks at the subtle art of beer writing and Cooper's Stout:

Liquor aficionado Frank Kelly Rich once penned a thoughtful piece on why beer appreciation (or “beer snobbery” as he called it) was superior in virtually every way to wine snobbery. Of course, Mr Rich considers anyone who drinks out of a glass rather than a furtive paper bag to be a bit of snob really. Fundamentally, he argued that beer snobs had it better because the dress code was more casual, there was no need to learn French and you could basically make everything up because no-one really knows what they are talking about when it comes to beer.

Glass Tips - The Backbencher and The Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and Challenging American Pale Ales

Given it is freezing cold, blowing a gale and pouring with rain outside, I'm seriously contemplating firing up my beloved balcony barbeque for lunch. Today's beer haiku captures my cooking philosophy in a poem titled "Preparing for the Grill":

As the grill heats up
And the pork loin marinates
I marinate too

My latest post on the Malthouse blog has also just gone up. In "The Challenge of American Pale Ales" I impersonate a ring announcer, announce the return of a brewing contest, provide another link to that great imp picture and, eventually, talk about Little Creatures Pale Ale:

The world has always loved a great battle - David taking out Goliath, the armies of Rome battling the Vandals, the Royal Air Force defeating the Luftwaffe, Ali versus Frazier, George W Bush against the English language… In July 2009, one of New Zealand’s most heated brewing rivalries will be re-kindled.

Glass tips - The fine fellows at Beer Haiku Daily and Colin the Handsome Scotsman at the Malthouse

Beerly Blogging - Waiter there's an oyster in my beer

The latest Malthouse blog has a look at unusual ingredients in beer and Three Boys Oyster Stout. It is called "Waiter there's an oyster in my beer":

You can, technically, put pretty much anything into beer if you really want to. Off the top of my head I’ve had beers made with cherries, raspberries, peaches, plums, lemon, lime, pineapple, pumpkin, heather, rimu, spruce, elderberries, bog myrtle, coriander, cumin, thyme, lemongrass, chilli, honey, cinnamon, kawakawa, candy sugar, wheat, oats, rice, rye, peat smoked malt, chocolate, liquorice, coffee, caffeine, caramel, bourbon, whisky, wild yeast, guarana and Food Acid 330.

Of course, just because you are able to put an ingredient into a beer doesn’t mean that it is a necessarily a good idea.

Glass Tip - The Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and Galbraith's SPA

Today's beer haiku is simply titled "ahhh":

Anticipation.
The aroma of hops as
my beer fills my glass.

And now a beer review which Blogger, in its infinite wisdom, has failed to publish the last two times:

Keith Galbraith, owner and head brewer at the iconic Galbraith’s Ale House in Auckland, is not a man who is easily puzzled in life. However, during a recent trip to Britain he sampled a selection of beers from a range of micro-breweries which all seemed to have a particular quality he thoroughly enjoyed. At first glance, there did not seem to be any linkages between the breweries or the beer styles and this puzzled him. After some persistent research, Keith found the connection – all the beers used one particular malt. This high-quality malt grew on the chalky soil of the Salisbury Plains and was traditionally floor-malted nearby. Something about the soil seemed to make the resulting malt ideal for brewing.

Miraculously, Keith managed to obtain some of this malt and has used it o create his latest seasonal beer, Salisbury Plains Ale (5.5%). SPA is broadly in the old-school pale ale style and I had the chance to sample it at Galbraith’s last week. I don’t wax lyrical about a beer’s colour very often but the appearance of the SPA is exceptional. It is lustrous and seems to glow from within. There is a huge, luscious, deep, rounded malt sweetness in the glass. Just as you begin to worry it might be all mouth and no trousers your palate is suddenly aware of an exceptionally late real hop bitterness.

SPA was outstanding. I would recommend trying it with the new Scotch Quail Eggs which are probably my new favourite bar snack in the world. The introduction of the Scotch Eggs is timely as my usual snack, the Pork Pie, is sadly having to be removed from the menu. Good Bye Pork Pie.

Glass Tips - The great Beer Haiku Daily and the legendary Keith Galbraith

Beer Network News - Galbraith's SPA

Keith Galbraith, owner and head brewer at the iconic Galbraith’s Ale House in Auckland, is not a man who is easily puzzled in life. However, during a recent trip to Britain he sampled a selection of beers from a range of micro-breweries which all seemed to have a particular quality he thoroughly enjoyed. At first glance, there did not seem to be any linkages between the breweries or the beer styles and this puzzled him. After some persistent research, Keith found the connection – all the beers used one particular malt. This high-quality malt grew on the chalky soil of the Salisbury Plains and was traditionally floor-malted nearby. Something about the soil seemed to make the resulting malt ideal for brewing.

Miraculously, Keith managed to obtain some of this malt and has used it o create his latest seasonal beer, Salisbury Plains Ale (5.5%). SPA is broadly in the old-school pale ale style and I had the chance to sample it at Galbraith’s last week. I don’t wax lyrical about a beer’s colour very often but the appearance of the SPA is exceptional. It is lustrous and seems to glow from within. There is a huge, luscious, deep, rounded malt sweetness in the glass. Just as you begin to worry it might be all mouth and no trousers your palate is suddenly aware of an exceptionally late real hop bitterness.

SPA was outstanding. I would recommend trying it with the new Scotch Quail Eggs which are probably my new favourite bar snack in the world. The introduction of the Scotch Eggs is timely as my usual snack, the Pork Pie, is sadly having to be removed from the menu. Good Bye Pork Pie.

The Thursday Pint - Tuatara's New Drop and Ale Tasting

In big brewing news, Tuatara are launching their first new beer in several years at the Malthouse in Wellington tonight. The beer is Tuatara Helles and the details are in the latest Malthouse blog post aptly titled "Fancy a pint of the new Tuatara?":

The two sweetest words in the English Language, according to Homer J Simpson, philosopher, role model and pneumatic cerevisaphile, are “de fault”. However, I tend to think that Pete Brown, beer writer, global pub crawler and all-round bearded bloke, has it right when he suggests that “fancy a pint” is about the most appealing invitation you can get which involves remaining fully dressed.

Last night the Cellar Vate beer tasting group sampled some of the best ales from around New Zealand (and Tui). The full report and results are up now:

The April session of the Cellar-Vate Beer Club was a search for New Zealand’s best ale. Forty people tasted ales new and old brewed in a mix of contemporary and classic styles. They also tried Tui, a self-proclaimed East India Pale Ale, to see how it stacked up against the real stuff.

Beerly Writing - Beers that demand attention and Brewjolais

From The Wellingtonian, my column on (helping) to make Mac's Brewjolais 2009. It is called "World First Wellington Beer":

I made a beer. Well, technically I helped make a beer by taking notes and snapping pictures while other people did all the actual work. My sole responsibility was to check the map and figure out how much we would miss the Cook Strait Ferry by. The answer was one minute.

Over at the Malthouse blog, the latest post covers beers that stand out in a crowded market, sneaking, oysters, Australian breweries and, eventually, King Cobra. The post is entitled "Getting the Drinker's Attention":

Most beer writers are not genetically constructed to be proficient at sneaking. It turns out that I am particularly poor at sneaking quietly through beer festivals. My plan was to conduct a quiet reconnoitre of the sprawling Beer and Brewer Expo in the Melbourne Showgrounds. There were a lot of brands that were unfamiliar to me and, after I had run my three beer and cheese sessions, I wanted to ensure I used my seventeen or so hours on site effectively.

Beerly Writing - St George and St Greig

From the Malthouse blog, the latest post takes a look at England, Saint George, the Bottle of Britain, London Pride and Old Speckled Hen. It is called "A most quaffable ale, by George":

In keeping with their famous reserve, English people traditionally tend to acknowledge Saint George’s Day rather than celebrate it. It is not a public holiday and, apart from a few parades and occasional happy hours, April 23 passes relatively uneventfully in the mother country. Saint George, who may not have even existed, certainly got around if he did. He is the patron saint of at least eight countries – including England, Ethiopia and Russia – and revered by diverse groups including butchers, soldiers, boy scouts, Freemasons and people with syphilis. Assuming he was a real historical figure, Saint George was certainly not English and it is possible he never even visited those green and pleasant lands.

Since I noted gently that Greig does in fact live in Hamiltron, he has done two excellent blog posts, achieved saturation media coverage and publicly attacked DB, The Herald and The Independent. I should become a motivational coach.

Beerly Writing - Bears that Hug and Fisking the Anti-Beer Bias

From the Malthouse blog, the latest post which, for a change, talks entirely about a brewery and its beer. This time, it covers Steve "Huggy Bear" Nally at Invercargill Brewery. It is called "The Adventures of Huggy Bear":

There have been small, poorly-designed classified advertisements in The Listener magazine for as long as I can remember. There were always rumours that people actually ordered those odd products, herbal remedies and dodgy holiday packages but there was never any solid evidence. For most of my lifetime, real-life purchasers from The Listener classifieds were a myth, they were as real as card-carrying members of the Social Credit Party or people who found David Spade funny. Then I met one.

Following up from Greig's earlier post on anti-beer bias in the media, my favourite beer writer Pete Brown does a complete demolition job on the offending article in the Independent. His post is called "National newspaper in anti-beer bias shocker":

In the main paper, 24 pages after the “extreme beer” feature, there’s an article entitled ‘War of the rosés’, about a scheme to make French rosé wine more popular. Here is a direct quote from that piece: “If we are forced to put the word ‘traditional’ on our bottles, people will think, especially young people, that it is a fuddy-duddy wine, an old-fashioned kind of drink. That will ruin everything we have achieved.” That’s from a winemaker. And here’s the journalist himself: “Young people, especially, have taken to rosé as a fun drink, which is refreshing, uncomplicated and relatively cheap. (Anjou rosé sells in the UK at between £5 and £8 a bottle. Other French rosés sell for as little as £3 a bottle.)” Despite the clear admission that rosé winemakers are targeting younger people, despite the fact that rosé wine is being sold cheap and marketed in a contemporary fashion in order to lure these drinkers, there is no worried quote from Alcohol Concern. No sensationalist headline. No mention of the ABV of rosé wines. The attractive illustration of three glasses of rose – unlike your illustration of extreme beers – carries no bold starbursts. The inference is clear: when winemakers admit that they are selling cheap wine (12-14% ABV) and actively targeting young people with 750ml bottles for as little as £3, that’s OK. But when a brewer creates a beer (6-12% ABV) and sells it in a 33cl bottle that retails from £4 upwards, and tells you it is emphatically NOT targeting young drinkers, you run the piece with a ‘health fears’ headline and a subhead that claims the beers are, in fact, targeting younger drinkers – despite the fact that this is a lower ABV drink, being sold at a higher price.

Sunday Fun - English Beers, Pub Reviews and Moose Hunting

Things at the Real Beer Blog have been a bit quiet of late with Luke working in England, me being in Melbourne and Greig living in Hamilton. However, with the Impish Brewer back on board with 1,374 photos and 877 tweets about his brewing and quaffing exploits still to post, there should be a lot more activity here in coming weeks.

To kick things off, my latest Wellingtonian column looks at the unlamented demise of POD and the new Green Man pub which comes complete with moose shooting mayhem:

POD was a restaurant which never suffered from self-confidence issues but perhaps should have. It was pretentious without actually being any good and had so little atmosphere you may as well have been dining on the moon or, even worse, at Eden Park.

Finally, a write up of the recent Cellar Vate tasting of English beers where 4 proper English beers went up against 4 antipodean pretenders:

As much as it may pain us to admit it, New Zealand owes much of its beer culture and beer history to England. It was Englishman Captain James Cook who brewed the first beer in Australasia and for many years our breweries produced their own colonial takes on classic British beer styles.

Glass Tips - The Wellingtonian and Cellar Vate

Beer Haiku Friday and Mayhem on the Dancefloor

Today's post has a dancing theme with the Beer Haiku called "So what":

I’m not a rock star
But beer makes me feel like one
So check my rock moves…

From the Malthouse blog, "Mayhem on the Dancefloor" discusses dancing, Paul Mercurio and Cooper's Sparkling Ale.

Although Paul has appeared in seven movies and numerous television shows, I must confess to having seen only one of his performances before meeting him at Brew NZ - “The First Nine and a Half Weeks”, an ill-fated sequel to the racy “Nine and a Half Weeks” minus all the original stars. I watched this at age 17 and now have the unshakeable feeling that I have seen Paul with no pants on.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily, Mr Mallon at the Malthouse and Mr Mercurio on the Dance Floor

Beer on a Monday Morning - Cellar Vate Tasting and the Porter Story

Regular tastings have resumed at Cellar-Vate with the first of this year called "The Best of the Best for 2008"

The first Cellar Vate beer tasting of 2009 was the always coveted “Best of the Best” session. Forty-five tasters gathered to sample eight beers which were voted first or second in each of the eight tastings I ran last year. Our aim was to select the Cellar Vate Beer Tasting Club Champion Beer and Champion Brewery of 2008.

Over at the Malthouse blog, the latest post talks about beer and storytelling, the best beer story in the world and Tuatara Porter. It is called "The Porter Story":

Beer and storytelling have a long, interwoven history. The ancient Sumerians, sipping their beer through long straws, probably whiled away the hours with exaggerated stories of hunting prowess and how they totally could conquer Egypt but just didn’t have the time these days. That tradition has continued unabated.

Glass Tip - The Malthouse Blog and Pete Brown's Blog

Beer Haiku Friday - The Hop God

This is the best beer Haiku I've ever read. I wish it was written about me. It is called "The Hop God":

“More hops! Add more hops”
So commandeth the Hop God.
He is great and wise.

Glass Tip - The poetry gods at Beer Haiku Daily

The Late Edition of Beer Haiku Friday and Pouring Beer the Traditional Way

To bring some belated class to this blog, here is a Haiku about Shakespeare and beer entitled "Sorry Bill":

When suffering slings
To beer, or not to beer? Duh!
What a dumb question

Glass Tip - The good folks at Beer Haiku Daily

The latest installment on the Malthouse blog takes a look at Invercargill Pitch Black and "pouring beer the traditional way":

New Zealand bars tend to serve their beer at a universally cold temperature as Kiwi drinkers largely expect them to. Our beer almost always has added carbon dioxide to increase the bubbles and, as a rule, New Zealand beer has tended to be on the sweet side by international standards. Customers from the Motherland have been known to frequently point out that even today our beer is too cold, has too much head and is “not like they make at home, by thunder.”

Glass Tip - The Handsome Scotsman Colin Mallon and the Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday and Service is Everything

It seems almost compulsory to use both these words in everything published these days so helpfully Captain Hops has written a Haiku called "Stimulus and Bail Out Package":

He needs a bail out
After too much stimulus
Last night at the bar

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily

From the Malthouse blog, some musings about how to serve beer and how not to serve beer. It is called "Service is everything":

The revelation that I love trying new beers probably ranks between “the Hurricanes are inconsistent” and “Paul Holmes loves to offer unsolicited advice” on the Surprise Scale. If I see something new, the chances are that I will try it even if my beer senses are screaming that they have a bad feeling about the whole idea.

Glass Tip - The Malthouse

Beerly Writing: Ruffling Some Feathers

In my first Wellingtonian column of the year, I have a look back at my locals over the years and in particular the recently refurbished Featherston Tavern. The column is called "Ruffling Some Feathers":

It is apparently compulsory for all marketing and communications professionals to spend a lot of time in bars and our regular was The Feathers on, unsurprisingly, Featherston Street. This was a friendly place but a bit threadbare round the edges. The decor would not have been out of place in an old episode of Emmerdale Farm.

Glass Tip - The Wellingtonian

Beer Haiku Friday - Beer Haiku #4

Today's Beer Haiku offering is one of Captain Hops' earliest offerings. It is called "Beer Haiku #4" but has a deeper meaning:

never be afraid
to order something brand new
from the tap of life

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily

Beer Haiku Friday and More about Mayhem

This week's Haiku is designed to encourage people to enter a Beer Haiku contest but it is actually a great little poem in its own right. It is called "Flying Dog Haiku Contest":

Why do beer lovers
Gravitate to short poems?
There’s more time for beer.

Glass Tip - The always reliable chaps at Beer Haiku Daily

Blogging has resumed in earnest over at the Malthouse site with the latest offering called "On my command, unleash Mayhem":

It is more balanced than last years' offering when Luke declared that Mayhem would "wilfully maim and cripple the palates of the most extreme hop head" but, make no mistake, this is still a tremendously hoppy drop.

Glass Tip - Malthouse proprietor Colin the Handsome (self-proclaimed) and Softly-Spoken (media labelled) Scotsman

Beer Haiku Friday and Saving the World with Beer

Today's haiku is from Captain Hops and makes a cogent plea for sensible economic policies towards a better world. It is called "Fair is Fair":

Beer costs much more than
it did just a year ago.
I need a bailout.

Glass Tip: Beer Haiku Daily

Over at the Malthouse blog, the latest entry looks at creationism, Al Gore, environmental doom, recycling and Fair Maiden Pale Ale. It is titled "Saving the World with Beer":

Predictions of the world’s imminent demise began about a week after the world was created. The exact date of creation was either millions and millions of years ago or 4004BC, probably around noon, depending on who you believe. Despite the fact that the planet has patently not been destroyed even once, end-of-the-world theories have been consistently popular.

Beer in the New Yorker

One of the best beer articles I've read in a while appeared in the most unlikely source - The New Yorker.

"A better brew: the rise of extreme beer" by Burkhard Bilger covers drunken elephants and the foundation of Dogfish Head brewery - and that's just page one.

Sam Calagione was used to odd suggestions from customers. On Monday mornings, his brewery’s answering machine is sometimes full of rambling meditations from fans, in the grips of beery enlightenment at their local bar. But Gasparine’s idea was different. It spoke to Calagione’s own contradictory ambitions for Dogfish: to make beers so potent and unique that they couldn’t be judged by ordinary standards, and to win for them the prestige and premium prices usually reserved for fine wine. And so, a year later, Calagione sent Gasparine back to Paraguay with an order for forty-four hundred board feet of palo santo. “I told him to get a shitload,” he remembers. “We were going to build the biggest wooden barrel since the days of Prohibition.”

Glass Tip - Barrie Osborne, producer of Lord of the Rings and the most famous person to do a Wild about Wellington boutique beer tour

Beer Humour - 10 Beers to drink during a Zombie attack

Today my brother sent me a hilarious article. I only wish I had thought to write it first. It could only be cooler if it was about beer, pirates and Chuck Norris. It is by Dick Logan and is called "Top 10 Beers To Drink During A Zombie Attack."

Let’s face it, zombie attacks are not very fun. They are even worse if the undead come knocking at your door and you find yourself stuck with a lousy beer. In order to prevent this unfortunate occurrence from happening, we’ve come up with a list of the top ten beers to drink during a zombie attack. So delicious, they’re to un-die for.

Glass Tip - My brother

Beerly Blogging: Scottish beers and Booky

From the Malthouse blog, a post which talks about Saint Patrick, Colin the Handsome Scotsman and, eventually, two beers from Belhaven. It is called "Och aye the noo"

After a introduction so long it would make Jeremy Clarkson blush, the next post profiles New Zealand's most sessionable ale. This piece is modestly titled "the true power of Bookbinder".

2008 Beer Awards, Imps and Trappists

From the Wellingtonian, my now traditional end-of-year beer and bar awards:

I have continued my fledgling tradition of putting together an assessment of the best New Zealand beers for 2008 and some beer-related awards for venues around Wellington. These are, of course, simply the opinions of one beer writer but, rest assured gentle readers, they are based on extensive and intensive research.

From the Malthouse blog, a long look at Epic Pale Ale and its impish creator:

His brewing style is ashamedly hop-fixated. Luke has made a decision to use all imported hops for his beers as they give him the flavour and power he is looking for. While this approach can be controversial with his peers, the resulting beers are highly regarded. Epic Pale Ale was crowned Supreme Champion Beer of New Zealand just weeks after it launched. Metro called it the “Best Beer in Auckland” (by which they mean New Zealand) and the Listener also had it as the best beer of 2007 though their sole source for that assessment was me.

Also from the Malthouse blog, an entry on our old friends at Chimay:

Extensive research has unveiled exactly one joke about the monks at Chimay. Actually, it is not really a joke, merely a witty quote which may or may not have actually happened. As semi-silent monks in The Cistercian Order of the Strict Observance (which is understandably shortened to Trappist) there probably isn’t a lot of opportunity for verbal comedy and word play.

Ale Files - The Beer is Out There

The latest post on the Malthouse blog is now up and is titled "All Hail Pale Ale". It is a balanced look at why pale ales rule.

Of course, New Zealand’s most famous self-proclaimed East India Pale Ale is Tui. It is also on tap at the Malthouse if you absolutely insist. Now, there is no such style as East India Pale Ale and Tui is not an India Pale Ale. It is not a Pale Ale. It is not even an ale. It is a lager.

I was recently asked by Chef Martin Bosley what Tui had in common with real IPAs. My considered reply was “they are both liquids.”

Speaking of which, Martin Bosley's restaurant has unveiled it's new beer list. The chef became a real fan of craft beer after running beer and food matching session at this year's Brew NZ. The craft beers on his list are:

Invercargill Biman
Three Boys Wheat
Tuatara Pilsner
Epic Pale Ale
Tuatara Ardennes
Pitch Black

You can read about Martin's conversion to craft beer here.